Beautifully Undone
by Ophelia and Juliet
Summary: Draco has been sending Ron mysterious letters over the summer, but now that school has begun, Draco hasn't shown up and Ron's freaking out. A Ron Draco slash by Juliet
1. Chapter 1

It was two weeks until their fourth year at Hogwarts was to begin and Hermione, Harry and Ron were chatting boredly in Ron's bedroom at The Burrow when a stormy gray owl flitted through the window.  
"It's a letter for...you, Ron," Hermione told him as she untied the note from the owl's foot. Ron rushed to grab it, and unrolled it excitedly.  
"No one ever sends me anything!" Ron said excitedly as he skimmed over the letter. 

Dear Ron,  
I love you. I bet you would never know it, but I do. I can't pretend I don't because I will see you again soon, and I don't want you to think I hate you. Please don't hate me any more then you already do. I don't think I could ever go through a day with out thinking of you.  
xoxo

"What the bloody hell is this shit?" Ron asked, tossing it to Hermione, expecting her to make more sense of it then he could.  
Hermione turned deep scarlet as she read the puzzling letter.  
"It's obviously not from me! I wish I could jinx who ever sent it though! And they don't even sign their name! And they have horrible penmanship..." Hermione ranted. Harry picked up the discarded letter from the floor and read it.  
Harry explained,"Ron this isn't bad, obviously someone just likes you"  
"Bravo captain obvious! But why's it say they hate me, and I hate them? That doesn't help me in figuring out which of the Patil twins it is," Ron responded. Harry laughed at his joke, but, in realizing Hermione nor Ron were smiling, he fell quiet.  
An awkward silence followed as the trio stared at the floor, occasionally glancing at each other uncomfortably.  
"We could wait until school, and figure it out then," Hermione thought aloud.  
Ron stared at her in astonishment. "We can't wait! The only person I can think of that I hate is Malfoy, and it obviously wasn't HIM!"  
Making a very brief but meaningful glance at each other, Harry and Hermione looked sympathetically at Ron.  
"NO!" Ron shouted, standing up, "It isn't him! Are you two mental? It isn't him!"  
"Ron keep it down, your mum is going to wonder if something is up!" Hermione told him angrily.  
"You're being stupid for once Hermione! He is not in love with me, and I'm not in love with him at all!" Ron told her off, angrily slamming the door behind him as he left the room.  
A terrible sobbing noise was coming from the corner, and Harry looked up to see Hermione crying into her hands.  
"Now Hermione, he didn't mean you were stupid, he's just angry. He knows we're right," Harry told her comfortingly as he crossed the room and put an arm around her.  
"I'm scared for him, Harry!" Hermione told him, then continued, "I mean, what if this is all a joke and Draco or one of his friends is tricking him into believing that Draco or someone one likes him and then they make him look like a fool in front of everyone and then..."  
Harry was using all his strength not to tell Hermione part of the truth that was hurting him to keep inside, but it seemed so unfair not to tell her when she was in such a state as this. "Ron likes him!" Harry confessed finally, the truth tearing at his throat to much to hide it, and he avoided meeting Hermione's eyes.  
Hermione was about to speak when Ron poked his head into the room. "It's lunch time," he said plainly, and left the door open for the other two to follow.

Two long, silent weeks had passed since the first owl had arrived. The same gray owl bringing the same type of message each day. Hermione stayed in Ginny's room most of the time, reading textbooks, only leaving to eat at meal times. Harry tried to avoid Ron, but it always just ended up in the two staring at their own feet, lost for words.  
Finally, the day came for them to leave for the Hogwarts express.  
On the way to King's Cross station, Ginny broke the lonely silence by loudly commenting, "You lot have been quiet for two damn weeks! What the hell is going on?"  
Hermione grumbled something about feeling ill, but Mrs Weasley would't buy it.  
"Ginny's right Ron, why aren't you all speaking to each other?" Mrs Weasley snapped, demanding a real reason. Hermione looked at Harry, who looked at Ron, who looked at both of them, begging silently not to spill.  
"Well Ron," Hermione began, because she hated lying, "Don't you think your mother deserves to know?"  
Sighing, Ron looked the other way and grumbled what sounded like 'Malfoy-owls-him-like.'  
Hermione rolled her eyes and, having arrived, pulled him along with her through the wall at platforms 9 and 10. Once they had all passed through to Platform 9 3/4, Mrs Weasley gave Ron a warning look and hugged the twins, Ginny, Ron, Hermione and Harry goodbye, and ushered them onto the train.  
Ron searched along the length of the train until they found an empty compartment. Hermione immediately closed the doors and looked at her friends angrily.  
"Ron, you are owling her as soon as we have arrived at Hogwarts!" Hermione lectured.  
Ron nodded reluctantly, then asked Harry, "How much have you told her?"  
Hermione laughed sarcastically, "Ron, I know everything"  
"Yep," Harry joked, "She knows all, you better watch out."

When the train had arrived at school, Ron scanned the crowd for Draco, anxious to see him again, and to see if the letters were truly from him. But he didn't see Draco anywhere. Harry was looking too, without success. Disapointedly, Ron followed Harry and Hermione to the castle.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ron, I'm sure it's nothing, you and Harry missed the train in our scond year and still made it. That's probably what happened. I still don't understand what you see in him, though, he's not that great," Hermione explained as they ate their dinner in the Hall.  
Harry nodded in agreement, "Hermione's totally right, it's no big deal"  
Ron stared angrily across the table at Hermione.  
"You want to know what I see in him?" Ron asked her, dropping his fork, causing some students around them to look at them, but Hermione waited until they turned away to continue.  
"Yes, I do! I don't understand how this happened!" Hermione answered, the observers whispering to each other, confused about what the argument was about.  
"I don't know why I like him Hermione!" Ron shouted, "But I don't think I need to 'see' anything in him to know if I'm in love"  
Harry was relieved when Dumbledore had risen from the staff table and began his start of year speech.  
"Welcome, first years, and welcome back everyone else! Now, I hate to start out the new year on a sad note, but I have some news that will come as a shock to many of you," Dumbledore began.  
"Wonder what that's about?" Hermione asked Harry and Ron, but Ron had already suspected the worst.  
"Draco Malfoy, a student of ours that many of you know, commited suicide over the summer," Dumbledore announced solemnly. Many gasps and cries were issued from the Slytherin table, and not even the Gryffindors smiled. Ron possibly looked the worst of all, getting up immediatly and running from the Hall.  
Most everyone stared after him, except Pansy Parkinson, who's face was in her hands, and another Slythein girl was patting her softly on the back. Harry and Hermione exchanged looks of confusion of why it had happened, and sympathy for Ron.  
Dumbledore continued once everyone had seemed to have calmed down enough, "Quidditch tryouts will be held next Saturday morning"  
Ron slumped against the wall in the the Entrance Hall. It wasn't fair, he loved Draco, he really did. And now he wasn't coming back. How come he had to be gone now? Just as he was about to see him, just as they would be able to be together, the whole thing was gone. How long had Draco kept this secret? If Ron had made his move sooner, could he have stopped Draco from killing himself? Why did this all have to happen?  
"Ron?" A confused voice called from the doors of the Hall. "What?" Ron asked, not looking towards the person speaking to him.  
"I...I think Draco w...would want you to s...s...see this," The person continued, and Ron turned around, not knowing who to expect. It was Pansy.  
She looked away as she passed him a small piece of crumpled parchment. Ron took it reluctantly, not 100 sure he could trust her that this was even from Draco.  
"Just read it Weasley," Pansy told him, a little hatred seeping into her voice.  
Ron straightened it out and read it over and over a million times.  
Suicide Note No one understands me, no one knows me, and I don't want them to know me, not if I'm going to have to face them. I don't want to let everyone down.I hope everyone remembers me, especially Ron. I don't know if he knew I loved him, but now he'll know. Ron, you meant everything to me, even if you don't give a damn what happened to me.Pansy, I loved you too, I hope I haven't caused you too much pain. Pansy, Mum, Father, Ron, I'll miss you all.  
Draco

Tears were not enough to show how Ron felt. He wanted to tell Draco, yes I love you, now come back. If only Hermione still had her time turner, I could see him just once more, he thought.  
Pansy sat down beside him and asked, "So do you love him"  
They made eye contact, and Ron nodded.  
"I don't understand, he was always trying to impress me, and always told me he liked me so much," Pansy sighed.  
"I don't understand it either," Ron admitted, "I guess we'll never know"  
Sighing, Pansy nodded sadly. They looked at each other strangley.  
"Well, I'm sorry this happened, I am. I feel so responsible," Ron told her.  
Confused, Pansy asked, "Why do you think you're responsible Ron? I was there, I should feel that way"  
"Y...you were...there?" Ron responded, stunned.  
"Yeah, I watched it happen. I just let him do it. He gave me the note and just said those two horrible words, "Avada Kedavra.' I'll never fully understand it, but now I wished I'd stepped in, and taken the curse instead. I wished I'd been the one to have died," she told him, crying and then hugging Ron, because she didn't know what else to do. Ron hugged her back, and he was crying too. Ron couldn't even begin to imagine what she was going through, but they held each other and cried, even as everyone headed off to bed.  
"I best go to sleep, and you should too, lessons start tomorrow," Pansy told him around midnight.  
As she walked off, she added, "Do...don't talk to me, tomorrow, or ever again. Just go on, pretend that tonight never happened," She didn't seem angry, but Ron protested.  
"Pansy, you can't mourn alone, it will only get worse! I can help you, we can get through this together!" he insisted.  
"No Ron," she told him simply and walked to the dungeons. 


	3. Chapter 3

Into the early hours of he morning, Ron sat in Gryffindor common room, trying to tell himself it was OK to cry, because no one was there, but it didn't feel right. He didn't really know Draco, he didn't know him, it shouldn't matter, he could forget. No matter how many times he told himself this, he couldn't convince himself that Draco didn't matter and that he never would have. He felt numb, lonely and helpless. The same way Draco felt, before he had died. But Ron told himself, no, he wouldn't do what Draco did. He wouldn't let his friends suffer the way he was suffering now. 

"I don't think we should say ANYTHING!" Hermione shouted in Harry's face for probably the millionth time, "It's not like we know what he's going through!"

Harry and Hermione were sitting out on the grounds well past 3 in the morning, having snuck out under the Invisibility Cloak, debating what to say to comfort Ron.

"In case you've forgotten, Hermione, my parents are dead, just like Draco. I've heard it all before, I know what to say!" Harry shot back.

Staring down at her lap, slightly defeated, Hermione twirled her hair, trying to come up with something to say.

"It's different though, it is! Draco killed himself, and it's... it's just different Harry! I don't know what to do, this...it's just never happened to us!" Hermione cried, "And you better keep your voice down, or someone will hear us!"

Harry nodded because she was right, and they slipped under the cloak so they could get to the dormitories for a few minutes of sleep.

"Ronald?" Hermione called as they crawled thought the Fat Lady's portrait.

Ron looked up, his face blotchy and the sleeve of his robes wet from crying. He wanted to jump up, to have his friends hug him, he wanted them to tell him that he was going to make it, but he couldn't bring himself to do much more then nod in their direction.

"Ron, I feel so bad, and I don't know what to say," Hermione cried and hugged him tightly. Ron would have normally hugged her back, and smiled and then they'd play wizard chess or something, but nothing was ever going to be normal again. Ron went rigid, he couldn't bear to have his life like this.

"Ron, you've still got us," Harry said, "We're here for you."

Ron broke from Hermione's embrace and finally had something to say.

"Draco isn't here though is he?" he angrily replied and raced off to his dormitory.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ron, are you sure you want to go on your own? I could come, or Harry could, if you want. Are you sure you're alright? Do you feel sick or anything?" Hermione questioned worridly as Ron and half the Slytherin house prepared to leave for Draco's funeral a week later.

"I think he's fine Hermione, now can we go?" Harry nudged her in the side. Lots of Slytherins were giving them curious looks as they saw Ron off.

Smiling nervously, Ron hugged Hermione and Harry patted him on the shoulder. He waved to him over his shoulder and Hermione let out a tiny cry.

Hermione, who looked extremely concerned as Ron walked off with the Slytherins, continued to cry. Harry took her hand, and lead her back to the common room.

At the funeral, every eye followed Ron. The Malfoys scowled at him, and some Death Eaters gave him angry looks too.

"I must have been mental to come," He whispered to himself.

"What is a Weasley doing at Draco's funeral?" Draco's father asked, loudly and to no one in particular, "This isn't a homeless shelter Weasley, go home!"

On the verge of tears, Ron turned to leave, but, to surprise, Pansy caught him. She smiled kindly and took him along with her to see Draco's body.

"I souldn't have come, I don't even know why I did," Ron told her.

Pansy almost laughed. "Just because somebody doesn't want you here, doesn't mean you have to leave. Cuz you know who did want you here? Draco did," She said, getting a little choked at the mention of Draco's name.

By then, they had arrived at Draco's body. He lay unmovingly in his best robes.

"He looks...peaceful," Ron mummbled to her, surprised. The fact that Draco was almost smiling alarmed him.

"Do you believe in the after life?" Pansy asked suddenly, "Because I want to be with him again."

Ron nodded. "If there is an after life or whatever," Ron said, holding back tears, "Then he's there and he's happy now, right?"

Tentativley, Pansy nodded and she took his hand to lead him away from Draco. She cried into her arm, hoping no one noticed she had gotten emotional.

Ron felt awkward. He was still holding Pansy's hand as she silently sobbed. Tears stung in Ron's eyes and then he coouldn't hold in the emotion he had any longer. He dried his thinck tears with his sleeve, but when Pansy noticed she pulled him into a hug. She was considerably shorter then he was so it was a strange hug, but in the emotion of the moment, any awkwardness was lost.

"Pansy?" Ron asked after a few minutes, "Maybe we should leave." Most of the students had left and only Draco's parents remained.

Pansy nodded and jogged next to Ron to catch up with their classmates. She smiled at him, tears still streaked down her beautiful face.

"Ron, I think I'm falling for you," Pansy whispered to him when they had nearly arrived again at Hogwarts.

Ron smiled nervously at her, but when he turned away, he couldn't help but look scared. 


End file.
